


Much About Love

by pillowcreek



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Falling In Love, Homophobia, Jealousy, Kages is mentioned sometimes so except a litte, M/M, Pining, at times - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 04:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5078617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pillowcreek/pseuds/pillowcreek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kunimi Akira may not know much about love, but he does know a few things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Much About Love

**Author's Note:**

> So this is two months in the making and has evolved past what it was originally supposed to be. I'm really proud of what it's become though, so I hope you enjoy it!

Kunimi Akira may not know much about love but he knows that it’s not supposed to cause you to cry this much.

Kindaichi’s sitting on the floor of the clubroom, gasping into his knees, trying desperately to stop crying. They’ve been here since the end of practice, since Kageyama told his boyfriend that he wasn’t any use to him unless he could move faster. He had waited with his friend until the rest of the team left, until it was alright to let the tears come because no one would see them except Kunimi and he would never judge him for it, never think he was weak because of it.

“He’s an asshole.” Kunimi can’t help but hate the setter, hate how broken he’s made his best friend, hate how the team’s become so fragmented. “You should really dump him already.”

Kindaichi shakes his head. “He’s just stressed out. He’ll be fine in a couple of days.”

“And then he’ll apologise and you’ll forgive him and let him hurt you all over again, right?”

He shrugs. “I know you think it’s black and white but it’s really not that simple.”

“It is. He hurts you, he’s an asshole to you, you should dump him. You’ve even admitted that you should dump him, so why don’t you?”

“He’s just really stressed out and I don’t want to add to that.”

“Who cares? It’s stressing you out and you don’t deserve to be so upset. Dump him.”

“What if that makes things worse though?”

“Then you cry and move on. Just like you’re doing right now. It’s gonna hurt either way, so you should take the less painful route.”

“There’s got to be a better way though.”

“There isn’t.” Why was this so hard for him to understand?

Kindaichi stands up and grabs his bag. “We’ll be fine. It’ll all go back to normal again soon.”

“Are you convincing me or yourself?” Kunimi crosses his arms.

“You?” Kindaichi asks with a pained look.

He sighs and pushes himself off the bank of lockers he was leaning against. “Look, all I’m saying is that you’ve been upset so often lately and it’s really not healthy. When was the last time you two even had a normal conversation?”

The fact that he even had to think about it was depressing. “Okay, you two really need to break up.”

“It’s fine! We’ll be fine!”

“You just spent the last ten minutes crying because of him. That’s not right.”

Kindaichi sighs and hangs his head. “I know. I know. It’s just… It’ll be really bad, but then he’ll apologize and it’ll be good again and I’ll convince myself that everything’s okay and that we’ll be fine. I mean, he really is a nice guy when he’s not on the court.”

“But he’s so awful on the court and that’s the only place you’re seeing him these days. That kind of counteracts the whole “nice guy off the court” thing. Besides, you shouldn’t be dating someone who makes you cry so much.”

His best friend glares at him with red-tinged eyes. “I haven’t been crying that much!”

Kunimi holds the clubroom door open for him. “You’ve been crying after practice at least a few times a week. Admit it, it’s time for him to go.”

“Fine, I guess you’re right,” he says with a sigh, stepping outside and waiting for Kunimi to lock up. He had told the captain that he would take care of it so that they could stay later without anyone there to bother them. “I just don’t know how to do it.”

“Simple. Kageyama, you’re an arrogant dickhead who keeps making me cry and my wonderful best friend thinks you should be kicked in the groin. I’m nicer than that though, so I’m just dumping you.”

“What? I can’t tell him that! That’s so mean! And there’s no way I’m gonna tell him that I’ve been crying!”

Kunimi snickers. “That was a joke.”

Kindaichi’s ears turn red. “Oh. What do I say then?”

He sighs and starts down the stairs. “How about just ‘I’m breaking up with you because this isn’t even a relationship anymore, just a title and we can barely even stand each other these days?’”

“Fine. Third year’s gonna be a bitch, isn’t it?”

“Yep. If he’s this bad now, who knows how much worse he’s gonna get?”

****  
  
  


Kunimi Akira may not know much about love but he knows that it’s not supposed to feel like this.

It’s not supposed to feel empty and flat and boring. Every time the girls in his class talk about love, they talk about fireworks and happiness and a bubbling feeling in your stomach and chest.

He gets none of that when he looks at Nakahara.

The boy’s nice enough, and it’s not like he doesn’t get along with him, he just… doesn’t love him. He doesn’t know him well enough to.

He doesn’t know what his biggest fears are. He doesn’t know his habits. He feels like he’s missing such major parts of who Nakahara is, but worst of all, he doesn’t feel like finding out. He doesn’t want to spend months dating someone in the hopes of learning things that he feels like he should know before dating them. Especially not if he doesn’t really feel all that interested in them to begin with.

Kunimi feels badly for Nakahara, because the other boy seems to be realizing that he has no interest in him. He seems to be sticking it out though, but nothing will change. Kunimi knows that there’s no chance of him returning Nakahara’s feelings anytime soon.

If he were to be honest with Nakahara, he would admit that the only reason he was dating him was to make Kindaichi jealous.

It had been a stupid idea, one that had popped into his head after Kindaichi had made a comment about Nakahara watching them practice.

“You realize that he’s here because of you, right?”

Kunimi had paused his serving practice to give his friend a confused look. “Who?”

“Nakahara. He’s definitely interested in you.”

He looked up at where the smaller boy was leaning over the railing to watch them practice. When he realised that they were looking at him he blushes and quickly looked away to where Iwaizumi and Hanamaki were hitting spikes to Watari. “He probably just wants to join the team.”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. But I won’t be surprised if in a month I won’t be seeing you quite as often because you’ve gotten yourself a boyfriend.”

After that he had realised that he might be able to make his best friend as jealous as Kindaichi’s been making him, and he asked Nakahara out the next afternoon. It wasn’t fair of him to not be honest from the start, he knew that, but he also couldn’t help himself. He had to see if it was possible to make Kindaichi jealous, if it was possible that he might have a chance.

He keeps telling himself that he’ll break up with Nakahara soon, that his little experiment was so very clearly not working because kissing in front of Kindaichi only resulted in the same tiny squeak that he gave whenever anyone kissed in front of him and the only comments he gave on their relationship were that he was glad that Kunimi had found someone who made him so happy. It wasn’t fair to him to keep dragging the relationship out, to keep seeing what would happen.

But somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to tell him the truth. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he’d been using him. Nakahara deserved so much better and he didn’t deserve the heartbreak.

Even though he was positive that he already knew.

****  
  
  


Kunimi Akira may not know much about love, but he knows that you are supposed to want the other to be happy.

He didn’t understand why his parents were still together. They didn’t seem to love each other at all, always arguing and fighting over every little thing. He had asked his mother about it when he was younger.

“Every couple has their rough patches. We just need to work through it.”

Kunimi doesn’t understand how she’s still under the impression that this is simply a rough patch. Rough patches don’t last ten years.

The worst thing he had ever heard his father tell his mother during a fight was “I wish you’d die so that your kid would get a decent mother.” He hadn’t known what to do, hidden on the stairs and listening to them scream back and forth at each other, so he had just quietly climbed back upstairs to his bedroom and closed the door, hoping that the fight would be over soon. Before he left for school the next morning he gave his mother a tight hug and told her he loved her. She gave him a small sad smile and gently rested her hand on his head. “Thank you, Akira-kun. I really appreciate it.”

He asked his father later that day if he loved his mother. His father simply scowled at him and told him to stop asking stupid questions. “Of course I do.”

He was only eleven then, but even now he cannot understand why his father would say something so awful to someone he supposedly loved. Every other couple that he sees is always trying to make each other happy. After Hanamaki failed a test, Matsukawa had gone to get him cream puffs from his favourite bakery on the other side of the prefecture. When he showed up late to practice because of it, Mizoguchi had almost bitten his head off, but Matsukawa told Kunimi afterwards that Hanamaki’s smile had been worth it.

His father hadn’t even apologised.

****  
  
  


Kunimi Akira may not know much about love but he knows that it was supposed to be between a boy and a girl.

The Kitagawa Daichi team is walking to the train station after practice and the first years are sticking close to Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi was quick to take the three of them under his wing and has been teaching Kindaichi and Kunimi the best way to spike. Kageyama has yet to receive any advice from Oikawa, though not for a lack of trying. The setter is friendly to Kindaichi and Kunimi - though a little loud for Kunimi’s taste - but he seems to dislike Kageyama already.

Oikawa is teasing Iwaizumi, grabbing his hand and swinging it back and forth between them. A middle-aged woman with a child gives them a dirty look and steers her child away from them. At the time, Kunimi doesn’t think much of it, assuming that she just wants to keep her child away from the weirdness that is Oikawa Tooru.

It happens a few times throughout the year though. Oikawa would be clinging to Iwaizumi in some way - tugging him along by the hand, wrapping his arm around his shoulder - and a passerby will give them an odd look, walk on the other side of the street, move their child to the other side of them. Kunimi thinks that it’s odd, but doesn’t begin to notice a pattern until a boy from the nearby high school yells something from the other side of the train tracks. Oikawa’s eyes fill with tears and Iwaizumi’s hands clench into fists. Kunimi is thankful that their train pulls up then because he’s certain that the ace is about to jump the tracks to beat the boy up. He doesn’t understand why though, having never heard the slur before.

He asks his mother what it means when he gets home and her eyes widen with shock. “Where did you hear that word?!”

“At the train station. An older boy yelled it at us.”

His mother slowly scans him with her eyes. “What were you doing?”

“Nothing. We were just watching Oikawa-senpai trying to convince Iwaizumi-senpai to buy him some milk bread on their way home.”

She frowns. “That doesn’t sound very strange…”

“What does it mean?”

“It’s a very rude word that you must never use. It’s used to degrade someone whose romantic interests aren’t considered normal.”

Kunimi frowns. “But they weren’t kissing.”

“They were probably just acting in a way that made that boy think that they were together. Now you must promise me that you will never use that word.”

When Kindaichi and Kageyama start dating the following year, he wonders if they’ll be called rude words and have people walk on the other side of the street to avoid them. He vows to himself that he won’t let that happen. While he doesn’t care that much about Kageyama’s feelings, his best friend is so sensitive that those kinds of things would completely destroy him. And Kindaichi is too precious to be destroyed so easily.

****  
  
  


Kunimi Akira may not know much about love but he knows that it’s supposed to be requited.

Watching Kindaichi pining over Iwaizumi is almost harder than watching him pine over Kageyama because Iwaizumi is so very clearly taken. It was obvious to anyone who had ever been in the same room as Seijou’s ace and captain: they were very, very in love.

Which made it very difficult for Kunimi to listen to his best friend chatter his ear off about the third year every night after practice.

One day he finally has enough. “You know you have no chance, right?”

“You don’t have to be rude about it,” Kindaichi mutters, hiding his blushing face in his scarf, a result of his fear of catching pneumonia when it rains.

“I’m just telling the truth. I don’t see when you’re chasing after someone you have no chance with.” _Hypocrite._

“I can’t help it! And it’s not like I’m _chasing_ him, I just… think he’s really cool. I respect Oikawa-san too much to chase him.”

Kunimi’s hand tightens on the strap of his bag. “Of course.” His infatuations were simple. Someone he looked up to and aspired to be like but that ultimately he knew very little about. At least this time it wasn’t about to go anywhere so he wouldn’t end up picking up the pieces of another failed relationship.

But Kindaichi getting his heart broken again was always a possibility. But he could rest easy knowing that this time it wouldn’t be intentional, it would just be a result of Iwaizumi’s obliviousness. It wasn’t anything personal.

That didn’t make it any easier to watch though. Every time Iwaizumi complimented Kindaichi’s spikes and the boy blushed and thanked him, all Kunimi could think about was how his best friend’s heart would be broken for the second time in two years. And a small part of him, a part he tried so hard to suppress and quiet, wished that he could make Kindaichi blush like that. Wished that it was him that his best friend was chasing after. Wished that he were the one that made his heart skip a beat because he would never break his heart. He would look after and protect him. He wouldn’t hurt him.

But wishes aren’t reality and Kunimi’s stuck watching his best friend yearn for someone that he could never have.

****  
  
  


Kunimi Akira may not know much about love but he knows that it’s not supposed to hurt like this.

It was like someone had stuck a pin into his heart, making it hard for him to breathe or focus. And every once in awhile they would twist the pin and there was just a sharp feeling in his chest and the taste of metal in his mouth.

Being best friends with your crush was weird.

He knew there was a difference between friendship and love but if you asked him he wouldn’t be able to tell you the difference. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand when his feelings had stopped being _you’re my best friend and I want to be around you often_ and had become _you’re my best friend and I cannot live without you._ And he didn’t understand how this was such a huge difference because your best friend is supposed to be important to you, you’re supposed to love them, but you’re not supposed to be _in love with them._

He couldn’t describe the difference but it was there and it was huge. It was like a crevice had opened up between the two of them and was threatening to swallow them whole. Kunimi tried so hard to continue on like normal around him but it was so hard when things as simple as saying goodbye began to cause giant question marks to appear in his mind. What kind of goodbye was appropriate? Everything felt like it was teetering on the edge of the chasm and if he chose wrong everything would fall apart.

Hanging out with Kindaichi was starting to hurt.

It felt like they were so, so close to being together, to acknowledging that the other was that important to them, but at the same time, it felt like they couldn’t be further from it.

They had always had a fairly touchy relationship. Kindaichi would let Kunimi use him as a pillow on their way home from practice matches and while this was something he loved, it was also an endless source of confusion. On the one hand, they were close, they were touching, and it almost felt like it was a silent acknowledgement of their relationship becoming something other than friendship. But on the other hand, it felt like it was an acknowledgement of how platonic their friendship was, that this action wasn’t weird at all (or at least not for Kindaichi).

It was just starting to get to be so hard to be around him without losing his cool.     

It was the tiny things, really. The fact that he wanted to hold his hand, wanted to tell him how he felt and see a blush spread across his face and watch him try to hide it as he let out a small squeak of embarrassment. His emotions seemed get stuck in his throat, clogging it up and making it hard to breathe and speak. It was such a weird form of pain, one that was more of a discomfort than anything else.

And yet everything that he had ever read or watched that involved love spoke about it like it was this great, wonderful thing that made you so much happier and your life a million times better.

As far as he could tell, all love had done was made his life more complicated and gave him a strange pain in his chest.

(It went along with his pain in the ass best friend.)

****  
  
  


Kunimi Akira may not know much about love, but he knows that you’re supposed to look out for each other

Hanamaki's not at practice.

No one knows where he is. Matsukawa's been glancing at the door every five minutes, obviously hoping that he's just late and that nothing bad happened. Mizoguchi's been silently fuming on the bench all morning, storing up his anger to yell at the third year when he arrives. Kunimi feels bad for the wrath that will be imposed on Makki once he gets here, but a tiny part of him is also glad that he's being yelled at significantly less today.

They're getting changed back in the clubroom when Matsun's phone goes off. He answers it almost instantly. “Where the heck are you?”

They all pause in what they're doing to listen to his side of the conversation. He freezes. “The hospital? What-”

Oikawa lunges for the phone and is held back by Iwaizumi. “The hospital?! Is he okay?! What happened?!”

“Shut up, he's trying to find out!”

“This morning? What time?” Matsun covers his ear to block out Oikawa and Iwaizumi's shouting. “Okay. You're okay now though, right? Okay, good. Yeah, he's pissed but don't worry about that. You're going home, right? Okay, I'll meet you there. No, I will. I don't care, I want to make sure you're okay. Bullshit, you're at the hospital. You're clearly not fine. No I don't. I'll see you there.” He hangs up.

“Is he okay?! What happened?!” Oikawa demands.

Matsun quickly packs up the rest of his things. “Yeah, he's gonna be alright. He had an asthma attack last night and his parents took him into the emergency room. I'm going to go to his house to keep an eye on him so that his parents can go to work. I won't be at practice this afternoon, so let Mizoguchi know what happened so that he doesn't kill me tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” Iwaizumi lets go of Oikawa who bites his lip.

“Let us know how he's doing once you see him, okay? Make sure he's really okay and everything,” the captain demands.

Matsun nods as he leaves the clubroom. “Sure thing.”

* * *

Makki's back to school in a couple of days, and the team's relieved to see that he's alright. He's still tired though, and has been told by his doctor to take it easy for a few days, an order that he's very put off by. Oikawa and Mizoguchi manage to get him to take it easy for the first few practices back, but they almost having to tie him to the bench to do so. He fidgets the entire time, unable to sit still for longer than a minute or so. At least twice a practice he gets up to try and join in, prompting the entire gym to start yelling at him.

At the end of the day Matsun takes Makki's bag for him, slinging it over his shoulder and saying, “I'll walk you home.”

“You don't need to baby me,” Makki huffs, following Matsun out of the clubroom.

Kindaichi brings it up when they're walking to the train station. “Hanamaki might not like it, but I think it's sweet how concerned Matsukawa is about him.”

“That's because you're a hopeless romantic.”

Kindaichi blushes. “I am not! And even if I were, I don't think that's really a bad thing.”

“Never said it was.” It was actually kind of cute. “But you also think it's sweet whenever couples do stuff for each other.” They took the train with Oikawa and Iwaizumi at the beginning of the year, since the four of them lived in the same area of the prefecture. They didn’t anymore because the other two had started studying with Matsun and Makki after school. Kindaichi had always liked how Oikawa would get off at Iwaizumi's stop to walk him home, even though his own stop was the one after that and he would have to walk the rest of the way on his own.

“Well it is.” Kindaichi says as he starts walking down the stairs into the park that they cut through on their way to the station. “It shows how much they care about each other.”

“And that's what makes you a hopeless romantic.” Kunimi feels a drop of water on his cheek and he looks up at the sky as it starts to rain. “Damn...”

His view is suddenly blocked by black and he looks over at Kindaichi who's holding an umbrella over him and smiling. “Maybe you're just a cynic.”

He scoffs. “As if. Just because I'm not a hopeless romantic doesn't mean that I don't believe in love. I did have a boyfriend.” Sort of.

“That you dumped after two months of dating him.”

 _Better than yours_ is what Kunimi wants to say, but he doesn't. That's forbidden territory and he knows it. “I didn't really like him all that much to begin with. He's nice, but not for me.”

“Just saying. You can't really say that you believe in love because you had a boyfriend when you didn't like him all that much to begin with and only dated him for two months. Besides, that's not the only way to not be a cynic.”

Kunimi shrugs. “Whatever. Let's just get to the bus station before you catch pneumonia.”

“It’s something that happens, I swear!”

****  
  
  


Kunimi Akira may not know much about love, but he knows that it’s supposed to be understanding.

His best friend had been there for so long. Surely he would understand. Surely all forms of love worked the same way and he would understand and not leave. It would be alright. Everything would be okay.

Kunimi tells himself this every day on the walk to the train station in the morning and again in the afternoon. But every day, he doesn't do it. He's come close.

“Kindaichi.” The taller boy slows down, looking back over his shoulder at where Kunimi's stopped.

“You okay?” The concern on the other boy's face makes his knees feel weak. _He's going to hate me. Why wouldn't he? Why would he want me? Why would I deserve him?_

He decides to lie. “Yeah. Tired. Can we sit for a minute?”

“Yeah, of course.” Kindaichi sits down on a bench and pats the spot beside him. “You sure you're okay, though? You seemed fine when we left the school...”

Of course. He always has been able to read his mood. Sometimes he'd suggest a stop before Kunimi himself had even realized that he needed one. Should he lie again, say that he hurt his ankle during practice? No, Kindaichi would see through that in a second. He hasn't been limping. What should he say?

“You worry too much.” Kunimi sits down beside his friend and sets his bag on the ground, resting his head against his shoulder. “Anyone would think you're my mother, the way you fuss.”

Kindaichi laughs a bit at that. “Anyone would think I'm your mother by the way I get you to school on time. You'd get yelled at even more without me.”

“Doesn't bother me.” He had long since figured out how to tune out yelling. Mizoguchi had nothing on Kageyama. Pretentious asshole.

“I've never understood that. I feel awful if Iwaizumi-senpai so much as frowns at me.”

“Yeah, but that's mostly because you care about disappointing people.”

“You care about disappointing people too. That's why you put so much effort into being decoy in the match against Kage-Karasuno.” He'd been doing that a lot. They both had. They couldn't help it. When they faced him, it always felt like a battle to show him what he wasted, that they had always been good and were now even better. Kunimi wondered if Kageyama saw it that way as well.

He looks up at Kindaichi. “What's that supposed to mean? If you mean disappointing the te-”

“Oikawa.” Kindaichi's cheeks are pink. “You clearly care about what he thinks.”

“Not particularly. He's a complete idiot, we've known that since we met him.” Kunimi looks back down at his feet, feeling his chest tighten.

“That doesn't mean that you can't care.”

“I don't. Why are you so convinced that I do?”

“You just… You seem to be enjoying volleyball a lot more this year, that's all. You're smiling during the games, and stuff.”

 _That's because you've stopped looking scared during the games._ He shrugs. “That's not that big a deal. None of us were all that happy last year anyways.”

“You're putting in effort.”

He freezes. “Oh.”

“I'm sorry, that was rude. It's just, you don't usually-”

“He was the first person to tell me it was okay.”

“Wh-What?”

“What I do. He was the first person to tell me that conserving energy and staying calm was okay. He said that it was a good thing. Everyone always tells me that I need to put in more effort, that I need to try harder, I need to get more fired up. Oikawa was the first person to tell me that how I am is enough and that it can be useful.” He feels his cheeks heat up and hates himself. “I like playing decoy when it'll actually do something and isn't just a waste.”

“O-Oh...”

“I'm sorry. That was kind of a lot.” Kunimi picks up his backpack and puts it back on. “Let's go, we're going to miss our train.”

“Wait!” Kindaichi grabs his wrist. “I...”

He looks back at his friend. Kindaichi's staring at the ground, biting his lip. It's slightly distracting. “You…?”

“I just… You are enough, okay? I know I tease you sometimes, and I know the rest of the team does as well, but they'd agree with me. You're enough for us, okay? We're happy with you the way you are and you don't need to change for anyone. Least of all us.”

He stares at his best friend for a minute before smiling slightly. “I know that. We're a real team this year.”

Kindaichi seems to relax a little bit. “Oh. Okay. Good. Well, I just… Just wanted to let you know.” His cheeks are still pink.

“What's the blush for, idiot?”

“Nothing!”

Kunimi snorts and pulls him to his feet. “Whatever, we're going to miss the train if you don't move your ass.”

* * *

He keeps trying. But every time he chickens out, worried that this will be the final straw, the excuse Kindaichi has been waiting for to ditch him forever. He hates himself for this doubt. His best friend wasn't that cruel. He would never leave over something so stupid. Right?

For some reason, Kindaichi keeps bringing up Oikawa. It was really beginning to piss Kunimi off. “Oikawa was in really great form today, don't you think?”

“Seemed the same as any other day. What's with your new obsession with him, anyways?”

“What?!” Kindaichi's voice comes out as a squeak. “Where's that coming from?!”

“You've been talking about him a lot lately. It's weird.”

The taller boy blushes and looks away. “Not that often!”

Kunimi shrugs. “Pretty often. If I didn't know about your thing for Iwaizumi, I would say that you had a crush.”

“I don't have a crush on him anymore,” he mutters, face getting redder by the second.

“Huh. So you do have a crush.” Kindaichi mutters something. “What?”

He gives Kunimi a scowl that was usually saved only for Kageyama. “I said, you're the one with the crush!”

Kunimi feels heat creeping up his neck. _Does he know? Stay calm, what does he mean by that?_ “What are you talking about?”

Kindaichi's scowl stays in place but he looks significantly more awkward. “You know what I mean! You've got a crush on Oikawa!”

“Ah… No.” _Where did he get that idea from?_

“You do! You're much more likely to do stuff if he asks you to, and you dumped Nakahara right after he started paying attention to you, and who wouldn't fall for him?! He's good looking, and smart, and good at stuff!”

“Kindaichi… You're an idiot.” _I always do stuff if you're the one asking, and I broke up with Nakahara because I was only dating him to make you jealous, and I fell for_ you. _You with your stupid hair, and terrible study habits, and annoying obsession with wanting to make everybody happy, be friends with everybody._

“I know that, I don't need you to tell me it!”

“I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that's a completely ridiculous idea.”

Kindaichi crosses his arms and looks away. “Is it?”

“Yes.” He could barely stand Oikawa's creepy ability to know everything as his teammate, let alone _date_ the asshole. The idea made him feel vaguely like he may be sick. He couldn't imagine how Iwaizumi dealt with him.

“I don't think it's really that outrageous. I mean, it makes sense.”

In what universe? “Look, I don't like him, okay? Why's this such a big deal to you anyways?”

Kindaichi blushes and ducks his head. “It's stupid, okay? Just… Let's forget it, okay? I believe you, I'll shut up.”

“That's not… I don't want you to shut up. You just seem really upset about this and I wanted to know why you keep pushing it when you're clearly upset about it.”

“I just wanted to know for sure.” He doesn't look up. “I was just… jealous.”

Kunimi stares at him. “Jealous.”

“Yes! I was jealous because I really really like you and you were paying a lot of attention to him and I thought I would lose you again and I didn't want that to happen and-”

Kindaichi keeps rambling while Kunimi stares at him. _Did he just…? Did he? Am I sleeping? Is this actually math class? I really hope this isn't math class, and not just because I don't want Fujimoto to yell at me again…_

Kindaichi seems to realize that he's rambling, since he stops talking and instead rubs at the back of his neck. “I'm sorry. I know you don't feel the same way and I can-”

“I do.”

“Wh-What?”

“I do feel the same way. I have for a while.”

“O-Oh...”

“Oh?”

“I don't really know what to say… I wasn't expecting you to actually like me back.”

“Why wouldn't I?”

“W-Well… I'm… I'm… I'm not exactly the best person you could have…”

“And if I don't want that? What if I just want you? I think you're plenty good enough. Definitely more than I deserve.”

“That's a lie.”

“Hm. Up for debate.”

“Not even a little bit.”

Kunimi sighs. “You're not going to get any less impossible, are you?”

“Unlikely.” Kindaichi smiles and holds out his hand to him. Kunimi stares at it and his smile fades slightly. “Do you not want to...”

He blushes and slowly takes his best friend's hand. “You're embarrassing.”

Kunimi Akira may not know much about love, but he's pretty sure it's supposed to feel exactly like this.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably going to be doing a multichapter piece to go along with this, so please let me know if that would interest you!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @pillowcreeks


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